Being Something

I've been taking a little break while a good friend has been helping me revamp my blog. It wound up being more trouble than we initially expected (I keep saying "we." I really mean "she"- she did all the work. I don't know nothin' 'bout makin' no blogs), with creepy imbedded code that refused to go away, until we (she) cleverly sleuthed out the reason. But not before I ended up exporting and importing my blog into a whole new URL. So, here we are! New address, which I like better anyway, new look, and hopefully new stories to come! We're still in the middle of a few more renovations, but it's on its way!

This has been a busy few weeks... The kids are out of school, we've had various sicknesses (what else is new?), my mom and stepdad are in town, and my baby brother got married (photos of that to come)! 

The biggest event of the summer so far, is the missions trip I'm preparing to leave for. Tomorrow. Tomorrow!! You've seen me mention God's Girls before. Starting tomorrow, for the next two weeks I'll be on the road with a few other women from that group, taking our own form of ministry to women all over the south. We'll be meeting up with groups at different cities throughout the trip, to minister to them, to show and teach them a little bit of what God's Girls does, but we'll also be stopping for random encounters along the way, to minister in practical ways. We're believing God to show us at least one woman at every destination for us to connect with- whether it be taking her grocery shopping if her fridge is empty, paying her power bill if her electricity has been cut, or simply praying with her and believing God for change in her life. 

Ready for some truth from me? Of course you are. I have been extremely excited about this trip. Like, super excited. Until recently. The closer I've gotten to it, the more anxious, scared, nervous I've let myself become. I'm anxious about leaving my kids. I'm anxious about not being able to say the right thing at the right time, scared I won't be able to hear what God is saying to me, and so miss the "one" that should be reached. I'm feeling a little lost. A lot lost. 

But then I remember.... Moses felt lost. Jeremiah. David. Peter. They all felt lost. They all wondered what in the world God was thinking when He sent them. What IS He thinking, anyway, sending me? He knows what I'm like. He knows my stress threshold is low. He knows my social skills are more than slightly backwards. He knows I get carsick! 

But He knows other things. He knows my heart bleeds for the women like me, women who have been hurt by the church, moms who are struggling with the enormity and minutia of being a mom, girls who feel frumpy and awkward and ugly. He knows how much I long to do something. Anything. Something that matters. Something that means something.

And so, for the next two weeks, I'll be doing something. I'll be being something to someone, to anyone. I'll find the "one": the one like me who is longing to be found. I'll find her. 

I'll be chronicling this journey through the south- My own personal journey, and our journey as a group- right here, on What If I Said, and through my Instagram, @what_if_i_said. Tune in, to see where we go, what we do, and more importantly, what God does.